Friday, March 4, 2011

AS WE ALL SAY T.G.I.F.

Very restful night last night. Danny should be on his way home from work right about now.  I asked him on his way to bring dunkin donuts home and a LARGE  coffee and I am being a bit impatient right about now because I am jonesing for a Cigarette and he has them also.   So Today I will talk about Dealing with people as an amputee !  I will be back because here comes my Coffee! I am back Coffee in hand and cigarette in my mouth.  Don't be concerned over the cigarette i made a vow that when I go into inpatient rehab that I will leave a non smoker.  Smoking doesn't help my disease of PAD and I know I MUST quit.  Over the past six months or so I eventually have had the opportunity to interact with the public by going to various stores.  Just to get out of the bed and house is such a welcome treat and I Love just getting into the car.  Going out into the public is an interesting fair.   You begin to notice others reaction to your amputation as you encounter them.  Most of my outing include the local Walmart so my experiences may have to do with the type of people I encounter while at the store.  Your first encounter with young children, at first, you find annoying. As the old phrase, "Out of the mouth of babes...".   Every youngster you encounter will react to your amputation. To a Child it looks so strange so I will even get more verbalization's from them.  Even the reaction from my own grandchildren was strange at first. My 3 year old Grandson, when I first came home, was very reluctant to even come near me but that has changed.  He now pokes me in my stub and laughs.  He is very cautious when going near my right leg amputation because it took a while for it to heal and he witnessed the home care nurse taking care of it  so He knows. The children you encounter outside the home varies in reaction.  You get the little girl or boy who,when they see you, run,to their parents side as if they just saw a monster. It is understandable, I try to put myself in their position.  I do look strange in my wheelchair with missing legs.  I am NOT the "Normal" sight for a child to see and it must be scary.  Most of the verbal reactions from children has been, " What happened to his legs?" and their question usually is directed to the parent who is with them.   At first you want to go up to that child and say, a big bad monster ripped them off while I was asleep just to scare them.  But you quickly understand their curiosity.  I wish they child would come up to me and ask me what happened and I would give a short explanation. Parents usually react with this type of question by telling their child to "SHUT UP" .   Children need to understand and I want to go up to that parent and say, " It is Ok let me explain" yet I don't.   The next time I encounter this I will make a point to tell the parent,  No, let me explain, so your child will understand.  I would tell the child, I have this problem with the veins that carried blood to my legs.  The veins closed down and my legs died from here down and the doctor had to take them off so I could live.   I think if given the opportunity to talk to a child their future encounters with a person in an wheelchair wouldn't be do traumatic.  I have not encountered a child who was rude or had said something inappropriate.  You find that inappropriate action from the parents reaction to the child.  You understand the child  is curious  to your condition, and the parent just wants you to go away.  Shame on them.  When I first started going into public places you see a multitude of disabled people.  I find their reaction to my condition as Funny.  Once I was in line in the Walmart in my chair and this older amputee gentleman in a wheel chair came up next to me and Said, : " well, How did your lose yours?"  All I replied was, "PAD".  He proceed to tap on his prosthesis and say "Vietnam".  All I could reply was WOW , I am sorry.  I guess he was the guy who really had his leg ripped off by a monster ! ! !   Then I get to thinking how fortunate I was to have lost my legs while under anesthesia and he could have been awake when he lost his limb.  Damn.  I think what bothers me the most is the occasional ignorance from the adults.  With adults, it is never verbal,  It is usually the stare with this strange look of anger in their eyes. And the reaction to their children's verbalization.  To these people you want to say STOP IT.  Then you come to the conclusion that there is ignorance all over.  Just be happy there not verbal.  Nope,  that is not even the biggest annoyance you encounter outside.  It is the ignorance of those who almost run you over with their cart, or the person who speeds up to get into line before you.  Then you get the adult who HUFFS behind you because they want to get around you because your going too slow for them. It is these people you want to SMACK ! ! !, But again you understand,  You ARE a pain in the ass to a person trying to get somewhere quickly.  I remember, when I was walking probably doing the same thing if I were in a hurry.  I am a Pain in the ass to be behind so I try to be conscious of those around me and be courteous.  I don't require special treatment by the public, it takes a mutual understanding.  So  when you are in a public place, take a moment to think of the reaction of others and try to see it on there level.  A little bit of courtesy on both sides would benefit everyone.  Well At this point I will take a breather and be back a bit later.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Stephen,

    You're on my friends list because of MW. I just wanted to pass along some information for you after reading your blog. I was keeping up with your medical nightmare but haven't really been "active" much on Facebook.

    There's an organization called Freecycle (website www.freecycle.org) and everything is offered or wanted by people in your specific area. I live in the Detroit area and have seen offers for power scooters as well as wheelchairs. Again, these offers are free and are from people living in your neighborhood.

    I just thought maybe you could put out a "wanted" ad and maybe, just maybe, get yourself a power scooter or wheelchair for free. It's worth a shot, you just never know.

    I have given away a lot of things to members of Freecycle in my area and have gotten some needed things from them as well. I'm disabled and can't afford some of the things I've requested.

    You'll find there are generous individuals out there who are ready and willing to help.

    Good luck and I wish you the best.

    Jenn

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  2. Thank You Jenn, This is really a good idea! ! !

    ReplyDelete